I was at the gym today for the first time in months. Since spring. The last time I was there - James was with me. I think I remember watching him in the mirror. He was running on a treadmill, I was on a cross trainer. I caught his eye and waved. I knew it would be the last time I'd see his reflection in the mirror at the gym. I've been putting off going to the gym. James was my motivation for getting me there. And then we'd go to work together after our workout. My job has changed and they don't want my help. And James is gone. I went to the gym with alot of trepidation. And when I was on the treadmill, I looked for his reflection in the mirror. Hoping maybe it had stayed, or by some miracle he'd be there. He wasn't. I choked down my tears and kept going.
In the book, "The Right Words at the Right Time," a woman writes about her husband saying, "I do know that things aren't right when we're not together, and I don't ever not want to be together with you."
I keep hoping I'll stop missing him. Stop thinking about him. You'd think after these seven months, I'd be missing him less. But it's true - things aren't right when we're not together.