Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Cholesterol on and off

 Image result for oprah wagon full of fat
I have high cholesterol. It's genetic. I have had doctors since time immemorial tell me I need to fix the high cholesterol numbers. I tried statins and they hurt. They made my body hurt and they gave me nightmares. After a few weeks of having constant nightmares, I consulted Dr Google:

and I wasn't alone. I called the nurse line and asked do statins cause nightmares? The nurse was very curt with me and said, no they only cause vivid dreams. We argued the word vivid vs nightmare. I quit taking the stupid statins.

Earlier this year after my yearly blood tests, my GP freaked out and really wanted me get on statins. But the doctor wanted me to first meet with a Pharmacist. Ok - I could do that.
I'm imagining something like the photo below.

I dread going to the appointment because he'll just repeat what every other doctor has wanted me to do. Statins.  Going into the appointment in April, I am resigned to taking the stupid statins. I'm old and the numbers keep getting higher no matter how many calories and fat I count and how many steps I take. I'll figure out some way to deal with the nightmares and pain.

I drag myself into the office my head hung down like Eyeore. Oh well. Oh bother.
 I meet with Paull and he's pretty cool. He sees all my cholesterol numbers and history and that I don't have diabetes. He gets out his calculator my CVD risk is at 1% and with that - no statins are needed. He's not freaking out. What?! He does think some of my cholesterol numbers are high, am I willing to try a supplement called Red Yeast Rice Extract. Yes, and! I run to Mastel's  and get it right there and then. I really did skip out the door like Woody Allen.

Skip to yesterday my 3 month check in. I've really watched what I eat (not just dramatically looking down at the giant plate of food and WATCHING WHAT I EAT) I watched what I ate before the fasting cholesterol test. I'm all excited to talk to Paull again. My HDL is down and my Triglycerides are up. Which is bad. I have flummoxed Dr Paull. Was I cranking on the carbs before the test? No - I was not. I was mostly eating nuts because that's all that sounded good to me. My CVD risk score went up to 3%. But he gave me another supplement to try: CholestOff That's fine. I'll try more supplements, try even harder with the calories and steps and eating just rocks and gravel before my next blood test. At least it's not statins. Not yet.

Thursday, August 03, 2017

"Driving into downtown Minneapolis today, someone's radio was playing, "Funky Town." Could this my sitcom's opening credits? Should there a flashback to me playing the 45 as a teen back in Chicago? It's too late for a Fringe show. Maybe next year."

This was my Facebook post on August 2nd.

Is there anything sitcom worthy about my life? Not really. I don't think so.
I need a good writer to punch up my life.