Monday, April 30, 2007

Once in a Lifetime

When I hear this in the car, I have to do the moves - like in the video. I heard it today and needed a refresher course.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Malcolm McLaren - Buffalo Gals

I used to listen to this in college. I didn't know it had a video. Something made me start singing this at work and I had to find it. Man. The memories of playing this for my roommate and how much she hated it. So I played it more.

Thursday, April 26, 2007


Once I was his girlfriend.
I think it was an accident said one summer night.
Maybe he's regretted it ever since.
Who knows.

I wash the clothes he leaves behind
Make sure there's good liquor
And wood for the fireplace
But I'm not his girlfriend.

I buy food he likes
and work at his company.
Sometimes he takes me to his family's events
But I'm not his girlfriend.

He goofs up sometimes
He slips and forgets
and calls me his girlfriend.
I try to call him on it - but then he clams up.
I forget that I'm not his girlfriend.

He tells other women he's not interested in them
He doesn't want to date anyone
Or have any girlfriends.
But I'm not his girlfriend.

I've been waiting for four years
Watching him move from place to place.
Waiting for him to grow up
but mostly he's grown apart from me.
The girl who's not his girlfriend.

My friends tell me how fucking stupid I am.
Waiting, helping him out
Sleeping with him
Pretending and
Playing house sometimes.

I may never be his girlfriend again.
And that might be my choice.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Addiction / Obsession

From the song, "She talks to Angels" by the Black Crowes;

She never mentions the word addiction
In certain company
Yes, shell tell you shes an orphan
After you meet her family

She paints her eyes as black as night, now
Pulls those shades down tight
Yeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes,
The pains gonna make everything alright

She keeps a lock of hair in her pocket
She wears a cross around her neck
Yes, the hair is from a little boy
And the cross is someone she has not met, not yet

Addiction - being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs)

Most of my friends tell me I'm addicted. And that I'm obsessed. But I can quit at any time. I can walk away. Sort of. For a few hours. I have stayed away for weeks. Only one phone call a day. But it was bottles of liquor (now in my living room windows as a badge, a purple heart of sort) that helped me through. It was vials of crazy pills and smokey piles of sage and palo santo. And knowing it wasn't permanent.

I asked an expensive out of network doctor if I was obsessed. He asked me if I was stalking him. If I just sat under his window and watched him day and night. I wasn't and I didn't. But this guy takes over my life, and I end up answering the phones, and taking the orders. Happily.

But do I do it because I'm addicted, because I'm obsessed? Or is it love?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Perfect man qualifications

Here's my perfect man:

Funny and smart - if you're not that - stop reading now.

I am the top of your list. If I have a really important event and I ask you to accompany me, the answer is not "Uh, I'll see, I'll ask if I can go. Uh, other stuff is more important than you." The only answer is, "Yes, I will be there, you can count on me. You do so much for me - it's the least I can do." With no fucking hesitation. Especially if I have given time and energy to you and your causes.

A gorgeous, muscular, healthy fit body.

That you'd fight to be with me. You'd be mad enough to kill someone if they fucked with me. Or with our relationship.

You'd be amazingly attracted to me. Forever.

You'd be mature enough to have a job you liked, your own house and a car. And money in the bank. And know how to keep and maintain all of them.

You'd have healthy relationships with your friends, family and your self. And yearly check ups at the doctor and dentist without my nagging.

A fucking set of balls. And the ability to use them.

You'd be able to communicate well. With everyone.

The ability to take time off and have fun.

An upbeat attitude.

Patient, kind, sweet.

If you can fill ALL of these qualifications - I'm yours. Not just one or two. Fuck that. I'm tired of second best. Or last on the list.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

As crazy as whales on stilts...

As crazy as
whales on stilts
is what
my friends
think of me.

Of wishing
And hoping
That someday
All this
Pay off.

Friday, April 06, 2007


Come upstairs. I don't care why you
come. No, that's not what I mean.
Loretta, I love you. Not like they
told you love is and I didn't know
this either. But love don't make
things nice, it ruins everything, it
breaks your heart, it makes things a
mess. We're not here to make things
perfect. Snowflakes are perfect. The
stars are perfect. Not us. We are
here to ruin ourselves and break our
hearts and love the wrong people and
die! The storybooks are bullshit.
Now I want you yo come upstairs with me
and get in my bed!