Over the weekend, Mr Ken,was telling me he had found some old funny letters of mine. I had to laugh. I can't believe he saved that shit. Man! I guess I have some old photos of Ken that I just stuffed on to flickr. We go out to dinner at a crazy Thai place - Ruam Mit Thai in St Paul. There were more people standing in the doorway then sitting down. It was a madhouse. But it was worth it. Ken asks if I want to accompany him to a poker game with his band friends. Earlier, I had seen the movie, "Casino Royale," and the beautiful woman pictured above is there to distract the other players. I asked Ken if I should wear a strappy dress - like the girl in the movie. He didn't understand. So I stayed in my flannel shirt and hiking boots. His band friends are fun and while I didn't play I seemed to be good luck for old Ken. All I was doing was joking around and being funny. I don't get poker. Not one bit.
At my therapist today, I told him I get nervous around people in social settings. I worry I'll offend them. And I've said some really dumb stuff. I joked with a lady who worked with alcoholics that she should have a glass of scotch. She laughed but I got reprimanded later for that comment. How the hell would I know she worked with alcoholics? Although a nurse I know got in a car accident - she comes roaring out of the car yelling at the other driver, "What the fuck is wrong with you - are you retarded??" And sadly the guy WAS retarded. Oh oops! At some point with my therapist I asked if I could say it was due to some disease or some excuse like that. And my therapist said I could claim hysterical blindness. It's not in the DSM-III-R for those in the know. It would be classified as a conversion disorder. I told my therapist I would get a medic alert bracelet that said I had hysterical blindness. He laughed. Now I really gotta go get one.
If I claim hysterical blindness at the next poker game,I wouldn't notice the other players staring at my strappy low cut dress. Or would they be staring at my medic alert bracelet. It would be a whole 'nother therapy session.
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