Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Kissing A Fool

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that I was wrong enough,
To think youd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool,
You must have been kissing a fool.

For all of those I've loved and lost

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Fish Finder

In the summer of 1988, I was in a deep funk. My boyfriend had broken up with me right before I graduated college and I was still devastated. It hit me hard and I was adrift. At that time, my dad had a sail boat and loved to take everyone sailing. The doorbell rang and a neighbor was there to go sailing with my dad. My dad yelled at me to come and go sailing with him, the neighbor and these guys about my age. I almost said no. I was too depressed. There was something about one of those guys, David, that made me change my mind. He did have a twinkle in his eyes. We're out on Lake Michigan on my dad's boat and he tells one of the guys, David, to grab the rudder and steer. My dad is talking to the neighbor and others on the boat. There was a fish and depth finder on the boat but they seemed broken. It was so erratic, it would show the water to be 100 ft deep then 20 ft then 50 ft. All over the map. So this guy, David has the rudder and suddenly he gets my attention and points to the depth finder. It's not being erratic, it shows it to be something like 50 ft, 40 ft, 30 ft. The keel on that boat was 10 - 20 ft. We were about to possibly beach that boat. Maybe? Or for some reason out in the middle of Lake Michigan there might be a sandbar. Or there's a wreck or something. We're both panicking and laughing but my dad isn't paying attention. I tell David to move the rudder or my dad does while he's talking away. Then the depth finder showed 50 ft, 60 ft and then went back to being erratic. Somehow that moment of doom sealed our friendship. He came back the next summer and stayed longer. There were some sweet moments that next summer. Dinner and driving along Sheridan Road. We've kept in touch for almost 20 years through marriages, divorces, moves and all sorts of shit. He might be going off to war for four years and I wanted to see him. So I flew out to San Jose and we had a weekend of Jameson, ghosts, good food and lots of laughter. There better NOT be a letter that starts, "Dear Debora, if you read this, I've been popped...."

I hope for at least another 20 years of friendship. So that when he actually gets diabetes in his old age, I can get revenge for all the punches I got last weekend. Oww!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Do you know the way to San Jose?

NWA does.

I'll be on little cable cars, half-way to the stars soon. Rice a roni, Ghirardelli chocolate, Fisherman's Wharf, Specs' Twelve Adler, Columbus Ave.
BART. Man, I can't wait.

I wish the man of my dreams was coming along. Next trip.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Flava Flav

Long ago, a good friend, Caroline, and I were out somewhere. Perhaps a Perkins. Maybe it was the time we were certain the old lady in the booth near us just went to the bathroom to pull on the soap dispenser and let the soap hit the counter. It sounded so good, I did it. I went and pulled the on the soap dispenser lever and just let it drip on the counter. We were talking, discussing Public Enemy. We had forgot Flava Flav's name. I don't know how. I had the rhythm of it. Popsy Pop or Fudgy Fudge. Then it got obsessive. What was his name? The guy with the clock in Public Enemy. This was long before the Internet. I told Caroline that it would come to me in 5am. Could I call her? She said yes. That night I did wake up and it came slowly Flava...Flava...Flava Flav!! Oh god,that's it! I reached for the phone but knew she'd probably kill me. I would've. I waited until a more respectable hour and just shouted, "Flava Flav!" She laughed.

Then I found out his birthday and mine are March 16th. Wack!

So on my birthday, I come home to find an odd message on the voicemail. I don't recognize the number but it's from Austin, TX. I can make out Public Enemy loudly in the backround and someone shouting, "Happy Birthday." I listened to the message a few times and thought it might be Caroline. Then later, I found out I was right!!! She was at a SXSW Public Enemy concert wishing me a and Flav a Happy Birthday.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Happy Happy Birthday

It is my birthday today. I didn't grow up in the Twin Cities. But I have friends that did. They'd sing me the sweet Casey Jones Happy Birthday song every birthday (I've been sung it this morning by Pat and by Casey.) And they'd reminisce of watching Lunch with Casey while eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and having some Hostess treat for dessert. (That sounds really good.)

At a St Paul Saints game a few years ago. They announced that the actual Casey would come to the field on a real train. Freight trains run right behind the field and often blow their whistles during a game. There were these people behind us in the stands. Really cool and aloof. Nothing was impressing them. Until Casey, leaning out of the train engine rolled up to the Saint's baseball field and disembarked. These punks totally lost their cool. "It's CASEY, oh god it's really Casey. Hi Casey, Hi Casey!!!" It was ok, everyone around me regressed and nearly wet their pants in excitement. And he sang the Birthday song. It's almost like it was my lunch time song too. I found a Real Player clip (scroll or do a find for Casey) and it takes a bit but he does sing the Happy Birthday song. It makes my day. My birthday. Yay.

Happy happy birthday
to every girl and boy.
Hope this very special day
brings you lots of joy.

Hope this birthday presents
you get from Mom and Dad
will make this very special day
the best you ever had

Happy Birthday!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Dear God

Dear God, hope you got the letter, and...
I pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
but all the people that you made in your image,
see them starving on their feet
'cause they don't get enough to eat from God,
I can't believe in you

Dear God, sorry to disturb you, but...
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
and all the people that you made in your image,
see them fighting in the street
'cause they can't make opinions meet about God,
I can't believe in you

From the song, "Dear God," by XTC.

Dear God. Send me a note. In big 72 pt type (see example above.) Because I'm really having a hard time figuring out what to do. What to do with my life, with my love life, where to find my soul mate, what to do with my art, my house. EVERYTHING. If you could help me. If you could speak up. Because I am having a hard time believing that you are there. That you're listening to me. That I have to be in such fucking pain and sorrow. Send the note soon. Ok?

Ruined birthdays

It seems no matter how hard I try, I have more shitty birthdays than good ones. On my very first birthday, it was the only and last time both sides of the family were invited. They were yelling shit at my parents stuff like, "You only love them, not us." It ended in some huge fight. One classic ruined birthday, only one girl showed up. I didn't realize I was the black sheep of my sixth grade class. That one sucked the big one. The year before that, the ceiling fell down in our family room right before my party.

I've had boyfriends freak out, boyfriends admit they want to move away, a divorce, dead friends, and getting lost on the way to a comedy club and then just driving around. Only a few I can remember when Dana, my best friend at my side, making me laugh so hard that juice came out of my nose.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


She supposedly loved Hamlet, and he rejected her. Hamlet later murders Polonius. Ophelia loses her sanity, and falls into a stream while collecting flowers. She drowns without attempting to save herself.

Romantic or stupid.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Peter's Grill, Minneapolis, MN

Peter's Grill, Minneapolis, MN
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

Long ago, Caroline took me to lunch at Peter's when it was in the Foshay. I fell in love with the place. It moved to this spot but somehow they moved all the signs, booths, counters. I don't know how. There's this cool art deco back lit sign by the grill I just love.

I had a cool intuition moment when I went to pick up some slides at Procolor. I knew the slides would have to be redone. And they did. Before I even went to Procolor, I knew I'd have to have lunch at Peter's. It all worked out perfect. I was told at Procolor to come back in a few hours. I parked by the Walker, walked through the conservatory to the allergist. Got my shot, then sat at the counter and felt very big city enjoying a chef salad. I should've tossed my tam into the air on Nicollet. "She's gonna make it after all...."

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Ernie And Bert La La La song

The world's best song. If it ever disappears off Youtube again I will have quite a fit of pique! I found it, played it, emailed it to my sister and then it was GONE. Please don't go away La la la song.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

My destiny

Valentine back
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

After shooting this framed Valentine, I didn't realize this was on the back. It's so fitting these days:

Ah! I could divine
The secrets of your heart;
In all its dreams of loving
Could I know if I have part!
Your words I hear,
Your smiles I see
Yet cannot read
My destiny!

The secret I do long to know:
Beloved I pray thee tell,
The secret if you love me,
Whoe have loved you long and well

Beloved, one whisper
Unto me -
Is it joy or grief
My destiny?

Monday, March 05, 2007

Head On

I woke up this morning with the worst headache on the planet. I thought of going out and buying this shit but I didn't even have energy to do that. I tried some old menthol pain relief stuff I had. I applied it directly to my forehead. Only once.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Breakin' rocks in the hot sun...

...I fought the law and the law won.

I sang that song today as I swung my shovel at the pile of hard snow rocks the plow left for me. It was nice in the sun shine. And all I had to do was clear out the walkway to the street. Still - that hard packed snow is like breaking rocks. I now have massive forearms like Popeye. No spinach required.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

March comes in like a lion

This is the transcript of an SNL skit that has John Belushi commenting on March coming in like a lion: I wish I could find the video.

Chevy Chase: Last week we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi, with a seasonal report.

John Belushi: Thank you Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March true to form has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least that’s how March works here in the United States.

But did you know that March behaves differently in other countries? In Norway, for example, March comes in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus. Or, take the case of Honduras where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.

Let’s compare this to the Maldive Islands where March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like an ant. A tiny, little ant about this big.

[holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart]

Unlike the Malay Peninsula where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is like a worm-eating fernbird.

Or consider the Republic of South Africa where March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has a mane, and one doesn’t have a mane. Or in certain parts of South America where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a giant anaconda.

There you can buy land real cheap, you know. And there’s a country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while, and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a couple of days it’s sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common house cat.

[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]

Wait wait wait wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it goes out like a, like a wild dingo. Now, now, and it’s not Australia! Now, now, you’d think it would be Australia, but it’s not!

[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]

Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out like a tapir. And they don’t even know what it means! All right? Now listen, there are nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes out like a golden retriever. But that- that’s not the weird part! No, no, the weird part is, is the frog. The frog- The weird part is-

[has seizure and falls off chair]