Saturday, January 13, 2007

Yeah, babe

Male A-Hole: All right, we got it, buddy. Where ya wanna go, babe?

Female A-Hole: England.

Travel Agent: Okay, England's great, it's a big place. There's, uh, London. Brighton's very nice. Did you have someplace in mind?

Female A-Hole: I wanna go to Hogwarts.

[laughter]

Travel Agent: You mean from the Harry Potter books?

Male A-Hole: Yeah. You guys got trips on magic school?

Travel Agent: Sir... that's not a real place.

Male A-Hole: Mm-hm. All right. They don't go to there, babe. Probably gotta go online for that, right, somethin' like Orbitz or somethin'?

Travel Agent: NO, it's a fictional place. You cannot GO there.

Male A-Hole: Right, right, right, gotta wait till summer, the wizards are outta school, right?

Travel Agent: No, never. It's impossible. You can never go to Hogwarts; it doesn't exist.

Male A-Hole: It's invisible, right.

Travel Agent: Look, you obviously don't know where it is that you want to go, so why don't you go home, and think it over, and come back when you've made up your minds.

Female A-Hole: I wanna go there.

Travel Agent: Where?

Male A-Hole: Where ya wanna go, babe?

Female A-Hole: I wanna go there.

[She points to the wall behind the travel agent. CUT to a framed poster of an airliner in flight.]

Travel Agent: Ma'am, that's a poster of an airplane.

Female A-Hole: I know. I wanna go there.

Male A-Hole: Yeah, we wanna go there. How much?

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