Monday, April 23, 2007

Addiction / Obsession

From the song, "She talks to Angels" by the Black Crowes;

She never mentions the word addiction
In certain company
Yes, shell tell you shes an orphan
After you meet her family

She paints her eyes as black as night, now
Pulls those shades down tight
Yeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes,
The pains gonna make everything alright

She keeps a lock of hair in her pocket
She wears a cross around her neck
Yes, the hair is from a little boy
And the cross is someone she has not met, not yet

Addiction - being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially alcohol or narcotic drugs)

Most of my friends tell me I'm addicted. And that I'm obsessed. But I can quit at any time. I can walk away. Sort of. For a few hours. I have stayed away for weeks. Only one phone call a day. But it was bottles of liquor (now in my living room windows as a badge, a purple heart of sort) that helped me through. It was vials of crazy pills and smokey piles of sage and palo santo. And knowing it wasn't permanent.

I asked an expensive out of network doctor if I was obsessed. He asked me if I was stalking him. If I just sat under his window and watched him day and night. I wasn't and I didn't. But this guy takes over my life, and I end up answering the phones, and taking the orders. Happily.

But do I do it because I'm addicted, because I'm obsessed? Or is it love?

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