Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.
Pat and I took the feisty old Sass to the doctor today. She had been getting more cranky and fussy about her food. She could barely walk into the doctor's office. They x-rayed her and saw cancer in her lungs and on her side, and her hips were really deteriorated. The doctor was telling us of more pain meds that Sass could go on. Pat leveled with me and said there were so many problems, and she was so old. We should let her go. I had been blocking the thought of putting her to sleep, I couldn't face it. But seeing those x rays and knowing that she must be in alot of pain really nailed it. We hung out with her and petting her getting one last foot (she puts her big warm paws on you like she's healing you) And we stayed until the end. I have not stopped crying since we left her.
She's always been such a sweet thing, so compassionate, I knew she had to have a big heart and the x ray showed it - she did, she really really had a big heart. And Pat and I laughed seeing her actual big heart. You've left a big hole in my heart, my Sassala, I'll love you forever.
Sleep well, sweetie - see you in my dreams.