Toilet Godess

Toilet for you
Originally uploaded by mrlego54.

Let me start off by saying I have to pee - alot. My close friends are never shocked when I have to go - they're more shocked when I don't. I also have a fiery nature. Also I am loud and outspoken. Often times my feistiness shows itself in the many bathrooms I find myself in. It seems in Minnesota what people call Minnesota Nice is actually this weird passive-aggressive shit. A few weeks ago, I was out with my book club - a bunch of really fun ladies. We were picking on Mike, the black waiter. Maybe there was wine involved, but I don't remember. When he came by to see if we wanted dessert, Jenny, gave him a wink and said sort of lasciviously, "I'm thinking of something...chocolate." I hated to miss out more of that humor but I had to go pee. Damn wine. There's a long line - all because one the stalls was out of paper. I walk over to the cabinet under the sink - there's a gorgeous array of rolls and I grab two rolls, one for each stall. Those Minnesotans just can't do it. They can't ask for paper, or get a staff member to get more if it runs out. Or even just check that someone is in the stall. I feel it's my life's mission to educate the fine people I encounter in the bathroom.
I'm like a Johnny Appleseed - spreading not apples but toilet goodwill with a dose of assertiveness throughout out the land.

Or find a way to stop peeing so much.