Get Me A Shotgun

Too annoying!

More Skinny

More Skinny Used Cars, Pueblo, CO
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

My dad always wanted someone to invent a skinny pill. I'm with you, dad. There is no magic skinny pill.

Cactus

Mexican Food, Walsenberg, CO
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

When my sister was a wee thing, we were in Arizona. It was hot and she was tired and crabby. She's whining and crying and my mom was getting sick of it. Finally, my mom decides to ask her what why she was so upset. My sister says she has cactus in her pants. My mom in a fit just pulls down my sister's underpants. There it was - some tiny piece of cactus in her underpants.

Sometimes it is that easy to make it all better. Sometimes it's the Mexican food that makes it feel like you have cactus in your pants.

Cone of silence

Dogs hate the cone of silence. This doggy looks so sad.









It's like the Get Smart cone of silence:
I need the cone of silence to block out everyone else. I'm a sad doggy WITHOUT one. Give me a cone or I'll scratch my wounds. Grrrrrrrr.

Sainted, Tainted and Grass Skirts

My local paper, the Pioneer Press has this great column called Sainted and Tainted. Anyone can write in write good or bad (Sainted or Tainted) moments that happened to them in St Paul. Mostly it’s about wallets returned, restaurant bills paid anonymously – lost dogs found. The tainted ones are the best. This was in today’s paper.

TAINTED
The reality TV show "Greatest American Dog." I grew up watching "Lassie" and have loved dogs my whole life. When I heard a commercial for "Greatest American Dog," I thought, why not watch it? Ten minutes later, I turned it off. I did turn it back on after about a half hour, hoping it would have gotten better, only to see the dog owners in grass skirts.
I know this is reality TV, but we humans have sunk to a low level, having our dogs act like us. It was pitiful, and I think those dogs need to adopt new masters.
Kathy Hamilton, St. Paul

I can see why umm she uh um What! Because of grass skirts! Dogs acting like us (?) Yes, of course.

Tainted and hideous. See for yourself:

Motel, Chelsea OK

Motel, Chelsea OK
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

In 2000, I went on a road trip to Austin, TX to see a good friend, Caroline. I took alot of side roads, shot the shit. You know. I traveled a bit on Route 66 and found this gorgeous old thing.

In November 2007 - I went on a road trip to Austin, TX to visit her again. I took the Lincoln Highway and other parts of Route 66. I have the world's greatest travel white noise generator/alarm clock. - it goes with me everywhere. Caroline and I take a road trip while I'm visiting her and of course plug in the alarm clock. When the alarm goes on, the white noise goes off. Then I start hearing shit in other hotel rooms. And that's what gets me up. Caroline is sound asleep after the alarm goes off. She's sleeping so soundly, that I think she's dead. Finally she wakes up - the best sleep she's ever had. I tell her how freaked out I was. The next morning - I'm a bit better prepared but it's like we're at the famous Hotel Chelsea where the Warhol superstars stayed. Is she Edie Sedgwick? It becomes the running joke.

I just sent Caroline a similar white noise generator (a much overdue birthday present). I didn't even know her neighbor would let her alarm clock go off for an hour - in her own Hotel Chelsea. Maybe someone got the neighbor girl a white noise machine. And Caroline tells me it's the best sleep she's gotten since the Motel Chelsea.

Little Debora Snacks

Little Debora Snacks
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

Damn you Little Debbie and Mrs Freshley. I love your 100 calorie products. Which by the way, Deb, you seem to be ashamed of because they are buried on your web site. Mrs Freshley's is a bit more out out in the open. Can I buy your products at my local grocery store? No. I have to gird my loins, suck it up and go to a Super Walmart to obtain your products. Is Super Walmart any where near my house? No fucking way. It's a trip to East Jesus nowhere. But the dazzling array of snackitude when I arrive is almost worth the trip.

Damn you both for my snack jones.

Dear God

I don't believe in you. Dear god
I wont believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners,
No devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.
Youre always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And its the same the whole world round.
The hurt I see helps to compound,
That the father, son and holy ghost,
Is just somebody's unholy hoax,
And if you're up there you'll perceive,
That my hearts here upon my sleeve.
If theres one thing I don't believe in...

Its you,
Dear god.

Jabba the Hut

StarWars exhibition - Jabba the Hut
Originally uploaded by Lizzie-G.

I was feeling sluggish the other day - moving as fast as Jabba the Hut. Driving to get a massage from a dear friend of mine. We exchange stories during the massage. I was feeling dull and felt I had no stories to tell her. Last time she told me about a Werebear that got me laughing. I told her I was feeling like Jabba the Hut. And she responds in that guttural way Jabba talks. And we both started laughing. Then the conversation morphed into people who talk like cartoon characters. She knows a man who talks like Mr Lunt of Veggie Tales. I know a guy who talks like one of the characters from the movie, Galaxy Quest.

Pretty cool to walk in as Jabba and leave laughing.

"Sad fish"

"Sad fish"
Originally uploaded by iamthefinn.

Update: Karen, yet another Pisces, just got fired. Wow. Sad fish indeed. The old post follows below:

A few weeks ago, a dear friend, Chris, leaves me a voicemail. He’s all jokey and says, “Hi, I had a heart attack call me back!” Asshole! Why would he joke around like that? We take classes together and mostly I just punch him on the arm and tell him he’s retarded. We do joke around a lot. So I call back and his girlfriend, Lisa answers. She says she overheard him and he was a jerk for leaving that message. He was serious! He did have a heart attack. That fucker. He’s 43, in good shape but has a family history of heart problems. I get the story. He was having chest pain and Lisa (who can be tough) told him he could go to the hospital by car or ambulance. Those were the choices. They get to the hospital he is having a heart attack and one of his arteries was 60% blocked. He has a stent put in and he’s doing good.

I get shots and there’s this receptionist, Dee who is another dear friend. She’s one of my favorite reasons I go to the allergist (besides getting shots.) She turned 40 this March and I surprised her with a box of chocolates and some champagne. That was fun seeing the expression on her face when I surprised her. I go to get my shot a few weeks ago and she wasn’t there. A day off – they said. I just mentioned to her that I missed seeing her and she has another hospital story. She was feeling really exhausted and being in a doctor’s office she had her blood pressure checked – it’s really high. She feels really sick, goes to the hospital and she’s having a big diabetic reaction and nearly dies from it. Holy shit!

Both of these friends are Pisces. Weird! I, too am a Pisces. Makes me worry.

Mr. Peanut

Mr. Peanut
Originally uploaded by agilitynut.

O.k. Mr Peanut, you are my only hope. I hope you are pointing the way to my last allergy test.

I didn't realize legumes were in so much stuff - like Vitamin E.

Is this it??

Bob Smiths Sports Club, Hudson, WI

Bob Smiths Sports Club, Hudson, WI
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

Bob, I'm coming by after work. If you can pull down that big ass shot gun for me off the sign - I need it. Don't ask. And a single malt scotch - god, I hope you have some good stuff there. What sides come with those steaks? Fries? I'll need a double order.

I'll see you later, buddy.

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Originally uploaded by Saloponc (Con un Farias entre los dientes...).

I am starting this pretty hard core cleanse. No bourbon, no scotch and no beer for me. Not for a while. Friends think I'm crazy.

Maybe it will help.

Dreams

hard curves
Originally uploaded by Azure Bleu.

I had a dream where I saw a bridge like this. The curve, the rivets. Then it turned into oil derricks that were pumping oil.


Oil Derrick
Originally uploaded by neillharmer.

Last night in my dreams I had a bunch of ropes that were covered in diamonds. I was using it like you would on a ship. I wrapped these ropes around a tie off.

Maybe I'm slowly getting the pieces to a puzzle.

Nate's Clothing, Minneapolis MN

Nate's Clothing, Minneapolis MN
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

See this work and others at:

Bloomingdales at Mall of America
Men's Dept
May 14 - June 18, 2008

"Nostalgic and Roadside America"
Open during store hours - check web site above.

That's a Spicy Meatball!

What an oldie!

Moonstruck

James was out with his brother Paul pruning some grape vines. Two times, they stopped to talk to each other - not paying attention tothe sharp shears. Each time they each cut their thumbs pretty bad. Same thumb on both of them. They had to work bloody and silent the rest of the day.

You have to go 2 minutes into the clip where Johnnie talks about losing his hand and being a freakin' monument to justice.

Flamingo Motel, Marshalltown, IA

Flamingo Motel, Marshalltown, IA
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

I had to go see this flamingo because when I was at a show in Des Moines, IA - I was asked if my flamingo shot (below) was the same flamingo as the one above:



Oh duh No!

I had one guy telling me in Des Moines about my shot (from the Wisconsin Dells) and was pointing and saying this was the fire station and a machine shop. And he was WRONG. He was pointing to buildings in the Dells NOT stupid Marshalltown IA.

Arghhhhhh. I'll never go back to any art fair in IA. Not Des Moines or sadly Sioux City. Because they get their flamingos all mixed up. And they won't buy my work.

Dance Card

Deco Dance Card
Originally uploaded by Paula Wirth.

My dance card is getting full. I love that expression. Maybe a night of scotch and stories. Or BBQ. Deep dish pizza, a funny play. Gosh!

Debora and Karen's Healthy Eating...

Debora and Karen's Healthy Eating...
Originally uploaded by Debora Drower.

..through chemistry. Karen and I are going to have a catering service much like Seattle Sutton's. We know too many people who need to be on medication but just don't know it. So we'll bring them their food already laced with meds for depression, OCD what have you and life will be grand for everyone. Us included.

I told my therapist, as she was writing out MY prescriptions, about the idea and she loved it. She told me if you can declare family members incompetent, then you can control their meds. She said we'd probably make millions of dollars until we got sued. Then we should leave the country.

She is the world's greatest therapist.